10 Weeks...Wow!

Dear Classic Mom Diary:

I can't believe I'm already 10 weeks! That's over two whole months! Only seven left, ohmygosh!

The time passing seems so slow, yet so fast all at the same time. Each day drones on, sometimes it feels like all my time is being delicately balanced between eating and peeing. Gah! It's all I seem to do these days, twenty-four-seven I have a food routine like this: breakfast, snack, snack, pre-lunch, lunch, post-lunch, snack, snack, dinner, dessert, midnight snack, second midnight snack, third midnight snack, restart. I go to the bathroom about as often too. Oh, and belch probably double that amount, excuse me, sorry! And they say pregnancy is a feminine thing, ha! 

So far I've had a slurry of symptoms, and yet probably nothing compared to what's coming my way. (According to the internet, pregnancy books, friends, and family members, I've just barely blown the dust off of the cover.) Aside from the two aforementioned ones, I've also experienced nausea, irritability, moodiness, hunger, fatigue, lower back pain, hunger, a slight amount of sciatic pain and another nerve that runs through my hoo-haw that I never felt before (ouch!) And did I mention, hunger? 

Oh, and strange dreams. Let's talk about strange dreams. I've had everything from nightmares of my boyfriend cheating, to dreams of me nurturing and raising my cats (my "babies"). Oh, and one about my Siamese Fighting Fish eating a whole container of food then pooping out a nugget double his body size. (All the while I was crying thinking I was over nurturing and feeding him and that I was a bad owner and I killed him. But in the end he didn't die.) I also dream about the rain a lot and oceans. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for my severe anxiety of deep water, fish, and not being able to see my feet in the water (or anywhere, really, long grass, etc.) So, while all the magazines and websites are telling me these dreams are "calming" and help us feel what it's like to be in the amniotic sac like our babies or whatever, I'm actually freaking the eff out every time it happens. (Besides rain, I enjoy rain.) 

On top of physical symptoms, there's been a whole lot of emotional and mental ones. I constantly flip from anxiety to anger to tears to confusion to frustration to oh-my-god-what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-oh-my-god and back around again, randomly. It is a lot to take in, and just thinking about it makes me nauseated. I mean, half of me thinks I could be in a better place in life and that this really isn't the time and seriously what was I thinking? And the other half of me thinks: no one is ever ready, you're equipped with love what more do you need, you can do this stop panicking, just be happy for once dammit.

There are so many different things happening right now that even writing about it is making me anxious, wow. Maybe I should stop here! But I have to say, pregnancy has definitely been a ride! A fun one, so far. :) I look forward to the coming weeks!

Cheers
XOX
Julie Maye